Marriage & Couples Counseling
You feel like you’ve lost a sense of yourself along the way. Now, loneliness is building with flashes of exhaustion, resentment or, worse, indifference. Too much time has passed with little intimacy and connection. Even the predictors of separation–The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (i.e., criticism, contempt, stonewalling and defensiveness)–now stamped through your relationship. Now it feels like you’re roommates or business partners who no longer communicate.
Bottom line: Your relationship is stressed. Perhaps your head is full of mind-chatter after the discovery of an affair, or struggles have emerged from blending families. Regardless, you’re fighting more and loving less. You’re at a loss as to what to do.
Couples Counseling Approach
Relationship 2.0
Your relationship, for it to thrive, needs a total makeover: Relationship 2.0. Supercharge this new beginning by using the latest science on intimate partnerships and what differentiates the disasters from the masters.
— Dr. Tom Murray
My Style
I am a bulldog when it comes to fighting for your relationship. My clients love that I’m a “tell you how it is” therapist. I bring a realness to sessions and ensure that the voice of the relationship is heard.
Consequently, I take a unique approach to couples work. Unlike many couples counselors who orchestrate sessions as if doing individual therapy with two people in the room, which often contributes to failed treatment, I structure sessions based on solid assessment data. You can trust that your vital issues will be addressed and QUICKLY! I want to help you get to where you want to go as fast as possible.
That’s what makes me unique!
My Successful Couples
Most of the couples whom I serve experience overwhelming negative mind-chatter about their partners. They’re lonely in their relationship, missing that time when they experienced a powerful emotional and spiritual connection. My successful couples are ready to take full responsibility for their part in improving the relationship. They want to see their partner with fresh eyes, renew the intimacy between them. They are courageous, eager, and deliberate.
The 3-Phases to Relationship 2.0
I use the Gottman Method to help my couples, which includes three phases.
The First Phase is the assessment, which includes a 90-minute initial meeting with both partners, and a separate 45-minute session with each partner (90-minutes).
The Second Phase is a 90-minute feedback session.
The Third Phase focuses on establishing Relationship 2.0. With laser focus, I zone in on what matters most so that you can get on with your happy lives!
You and your partner will complete an online assessment-the Gottman Relationship CHECKUP-after your conjoint session and prior to your individual session. The your answers will be compared to the Masters and Disasters of Relationships. This is like a physical exam of your relationship that provides vital information about what’s working and what’s not working. This ensures efficiency in getting you were you want to go, fast!
While I have trained in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy, you should know that I am completely independent in providing you with clinical services, and I, alone, am fully responsible for those services. The Gottman Institute or its agents have no responsibility for the services you receive.
Every couple receives a free, complementary copy of the Seven Principles book. In conjunction with therapy sessions, the research suggests that couples experience improved outcomes when they commit to the homework!
Meet Tom Murray
Why I Love What I Do
My favorite thing about Couples Counseling is how much of a difference I make and how quickly. Some of my most successful clients were only in need of some understanding and some tools. Watching the pieces come together for lasting happiness really makes me love doing what I do.
Tom Murray, PhD–the ONLY doctoral AASECT certified Sex Therapist
serving the Triad.